If you caught last week’s episode of the podcast, you know we dove deep into the Netflix show Adolescence—a heavy but meaningful conversation. And while I promise to lighten things up soon, I truly believe that we, especially as moms, need space to have hard but important conversations. We need a place to process uncomfortable topics safely and walk away with actual, actionable strategies.
Maybe it's my years as a school counselor, or maybe it's just who I am—but I don’t shy away from the tough stuff. I welcome it. Because avoiding it doesn’t protect our kids—it leaves them unequipped. And if we want to change that, it starts with us.
A Quick Note Before We Dive In
Today’s topic is about sexual assault prevention. While I won’t be sharing stories or anything graphic, I encourage you to listen when you’re alone, away from little ears. And as always, if you need to pause or take a break, do what feels best for you.
Why This Conversation Now?
April is Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month, and if your kids are in public school—especially here in Ohio—you may have received a letter about abuse prevention curriculum. Ohio now mandates that all K-12 students receive some form of instruction around topics like consent, safe touch, and personal boundaries.
As someone who has delivered these lessons in classrooms, I’ll be honest: they’re usually just 30-40 minutes long. A one-time interruption during science class to talk about body safety. And then it’s never brought up again.
That’s not enough.
Kids are thinking about friendships, homework, sports, and what’s for lunch. Without reinforcement, those lessons fade fast. But when parents start incorporating these conversations at home, in small and everyday ways—that’s when real change happens.
Where This Passion Comes From
This episode and blog post were also inspired by Amy Griffin’s memoir The Tell, which I recently read. It’s a powerful story of her own experiences with assault as a tween and teen, and how those experiences were compounded by silence and a lack of education.
Personally, this work hits close to home. When I first became a counselor, I volunteered with kindergartners who had been sexually abused. I facilitated group programs for those kids while their parents participated in educational sessions nearby. Later, I became a ROX (Ruling Our eXperiences) facilitator—a leadership and empowerment program for girls. My favorite part of that work was always the section on self-defense and assertive communication. Watching girls light up with confidence? There’s nothing like it.
And it shouldn’t be exclusive to the kids in a program. Every child deserves that kind of education and empowerment—from someone they know and trust.
The Numbers Are Heavy, But They’re Why This Matters
Let’s ground ourselves in the why with a few quick questions:
What percent of girls ages 14-17 say they know someone who has been hit or abused by someone they’re dating?
➝ 40%One in every how many girls will be in a controlling or abusive relationship during high school?
➝ 1 in 3What percent of girls say they’ve been pressured into something sexual they didn’t want to do?
➝ 65%In what percent of cases does the girl know the person who assaulted her?
➝ 90%
Let that sink in.
Those numbers are real, and they’re heartbreaking—but they’re not inevitable. The way we parent can change those numbers.
And yes, this data comes from research focused on girls. But boys are part of this story too—whether they’re experiencing harm, witnessing it, or learning how to become safe and respectful partners and friends. These conversations are for every child.
So, Where Do We Begin?
Here are four practical strategies you can start using today:
I expand on each of these in the podcast episode, so if you want to hear more, give it a listen or check out the video version.
1. Check In With Yourself
Several years ago, I helped organize a self-defense night at the middle school where I worked. It was an empowering event for moms and daughters—a chance to learn, bond, and grow confidence together.
But something happened.
Once we started practicing moves, I noticed many of the moms started laughing it off—making jokes, and getting visibly uncomfortable. And their daughters followed suit. What was meant to be empowering quickly turned into play.
It stuck with me. Because how we show up teaches our kids how to show up.
If we get uncomfortable and avoid hard conversations, they’ll do the same. If we treat empowerment like a joke, so will they. And that means missed opportunities to help our kids feel strong, safe, and confident.
So ask yourself:
What am I comfortable talking about with my kids?
Where do I feel resistance or discomfort?
How can I still show up, even imperfectly?
You don’t need the perfect script. You don’t need to share your trauma. You just need to show your child the door is open.
Because one day, when they face something hard—they’ll remember if you were someone they could turn to.
2. Practice Open-Door Debriefs
Whether it’s something they overheard at school or a confusing scene from a movie, use it as a moment to connect.
Instead of saying, “We don’t talk about that,” try:
“What did you notice about that scene?”
“How did that make you feel?”
“Do you want to talk more about it?”
Keep the door open. These small, everyday conversations build the foundation for the bigger ones later.
3. Name Body Boundaries Early and Often
The earlier you start talking about body boundaries, the more natural it becomes for both you and your kids.
Use clear, calm language. Label body parts by their proper names. Remind your child they can say no to touch—even from family. That their body is theirs. And that no one should ever ask them to keep a secret that makes them feel unsafe.
It’s not about scaring them. It’s about empowering them to understand their bodies and trust their instincts.
4. Teach Kids How to Trust Their Gut
One of the most powerful tools we can give our kids is a connection to their intuition.
When they say, “That felt weird,” or “I didn’t like that,” don’t dismiss it—validate it. Help them name the feeling. Talk about the signals their body gives them when something’s off. Encourage them to speak up, even if they’re not totally sure why.
Because gut feelings are real. And when kids learn to trust that inner voice, they’re more likely to notice red flags, set boundaries, and seek help when they need it.
This is just the beginning. Inside my paid Substack community, I’m sharing even more actionable tips, a printable strategy guide, and extra resources to help you build trust and open communication with your kids.
These conversations don’t have to be scary. They can be simple, intentional, and even empowering. And when we do it together, as a village—we give our kids the tools they need to stay safe, speak up, and stand strong.
You’re not alone in this. You’re part of a village.
Let’s keep showing up—even when it’s hard. Because it matters.
💛
Ashley
P.S. Want the full printable guide and more weekly support? Become a paid subscriber on Substack and get exclusive content, bonus resources, and the tools to support your child with confidence and connection.
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