"This isn’t just about screen time—it’s about what tech is replacing."
Now that I’ve shared I’m leaning fully into supporting tech-conscious parenting, I wanted to take a step back and talk about why this matters so much to me…not just as a former school counselor, but as someone who’s lived both sides of this story.
Because here’s the truth: I’m not just talking about tech because of what I’ve seen in schools. I’m talking about it because of what I lived growing up.
The Early Days of Screens (and Eeyore744 🧸)
I was in 4th grade when my parents divorced and my mom left. My dad, running a family business and doing the job of three people, became our sole caretaker. My brother and I were on our own a lot.
And that’s when AOL showed up.
It started in the family room. But with my brother obsessed with video games and usually off doing his own thing, it was often just me…and the computer. Cue the dial-up tone and my first screen name: Eeyore744 (yes, my love for Winnie the Pooh ran deep - and let’s just say kids were little longer then).
I was in chat rooms reading all kinds of a/s/l messages (if you know, you know). I saw things way too early. Eventually, in late middle school/high school, AIM took over my life. And when that computer moved into my bedroom? It was game over. My dad didn’t allow TVs in our rooms, but he didn’t yet understand what computers were becoming.
And while there were no filters, no photos being shared, and no smartphones yet - there was still drama, disconnect, and the beginning of online shaping who I thought I needed to be.
Two Siblings, Two Escapes
While I lived in AOL land, my brother dove deep into video games. Looking back, it’s clear now that he was using them to escape, too.
It wasn’t until he literally moved abroad, to Spain, the Netherlands, and eventually Australia, that he broke free of the loop and created a new life. But I always wonder how much harder that would’ve been if gaming had lived in his pocket the way it does for kids today.
So... Is Tech Really Worse Now?
Yep. Here’s why:
1. It’s Immersive
Kids aren’t just watching or chatting, they’re in the game. The loops don’t end. The stimulation is endless.
2. It’s Portable
We had to sit at a clunky desktop. Today? Tech lives in your kid’s pocket 24/7, from the bed to the classroom to the backseat.
3. It’s Reaching Kids So Much Earlier
I was in high school when AIM really became my world. Today’s kids? They’re already on iPads in preschool.
And adults? We’re hooked, too. I realized recently I’ve logged onto social media every day since 2005. That’s 20 years of scrolling. No wonder we’re exhausted.
What Tech Is Replacing
This isn’t just about screen time. It’s about what’s being lost:
✨ Connection
📚 Reading
💤 Sleep
🧠 Creativity
🤸♀️ Movement
💬 Face-to-face conversation
And if we’re not mindful, it slips away quietly…until we realize we barely remember what it’s like to not be constantly plugged in.
So Where Do We Go From Here?
No, we don’t need to throw out every device. But we do need to ask:
What is this shaping?
What is being lost?
What do I want to reclaim?
💛 Start here: Reflect on your own tech story.
How has your relationship with technology changed over the years?
How is it showing up in your home today?
✨ TAKE ACTION:
What’s one way your own tech habits are shaping your parenting?
Let’s be the bridge generation that models something different.
Let’s raise screen wise kids, starting with us. 💛
I’m so glad you’re here.
And if this resonated, I’d love for you to reply (emails directly to me), rate or review Lessons from the Middle on Apple Podcasts, or forward to another parent who might need this reminder too.
A Part of Your Village,
Ashley
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